Not been updating for a few days due to lotsa projects that im currently having, lotsa plans with friends and family and lastly, just dun have d time to update ma blog. And now, here i am. Im bored to hell. Lotsa stuff goin thru in ma mind. So, tryin to ease ma mind abit, i blog in to say everythin wad i wanna say.
Since last week, lotsa of projects have been assign to every students. Almost all of d modules have projects. Total bout 5 projects that we have to finish up before our semester exam which is in end feb. Haiz~.. But, today, alhamdullillah, some of d projects is half completed already. Left with a few more. I hope that i manage to finsih up before d dateline. Insya'allah.
Aniwez, last sat, went out with ma fren, Adip. d purpose is just to accompany Adip or rather, im just helping Adip to find some teddy bear for a gift for Adip's ex. So, we from City Link to Marina Square. From searching d suitable teddy, we then went to watch a movie at Marina Square. We watch Cheaper By The Dozen 2.
d story was damn funny!! Its a great comedy show. I would give it a 4.5 star movie. After watchin d movie, Adip suddenly decided to buy d teddy bear at Mini Toons. then, cut d story short, i thought Adip bought d bear for d ex; but, instead, that bear is for me. GOSH!!! Im totally shocked. Adip was smart enough that Adip ask me to bring home d bear, after i reached home, then Adip told me that Adip bought d bear for me. Im speechless. I dun wanna accept anything that expensive from anyone anymore unless they are someone who are special to me. I told Adip that i wouldn't accept that gift, but, bcoz of friendship, fine, reluctantly i accept it. But, i dun feel good bout it though. So, to share to all d readers here, ive taken some pix with d teddy bear that Adip bought for me and another gift that i received in 2 years back(2004). Just simply clik on d pix below:
Yeah!.. Thats d bear that Adip bought for me. As for d heart-shape bugs bunny, i bought it maself. Hehehe.. And as for d fossil watch, its from sum1 in d past. Though we've lost contact, i'll still remember him. At d beginning, after we went our different ways, i thought of giving back that watch to him, but, he did not want it. Then, thought of throwing it away, but, ma friends advices me not to. They advice me although im no longer with him, but, just to show some appreciation, just keep d watch. Hence, till today, d watch is still with me; im still wearing it on any occasion. Im still wearing it doesn't mean im still waiting or luving him. Its just as an appreciation of ma friendship. Appreciation on how much of his effort to bought for me that expensive watch. Itz not more than that. If i have an opportunity, i would like to repay him back. But, i dun think that i will have that opportunity anymore, as i do aware that now hez belong to sum1. From far, in silence, i wished him may he have d happiness that he wished for with his new luv. Im happy for him that finally he found d replacement of me. And as for Adip, i wanna tank u for d bear, and not only that, on everything that u spent on me!
Aniwe, last sat, on d eve of Chinese New Year, met with Adip again. These time round just to spent sometime with Adip before Adip go to Taiwan. So, on that day itself, we did a last minute planning and we decided to go to PS. We watched movie again. At first we planned to watch Fun With Dick & Jane. But, bcoz d timing is so late, we watched Fearless instead.
As for this movie, I really luvz it. Had lotsa action stunts and d ending part is very emotional. Likes everything in this movie. By d way, heard rumours that this will b d last movie that Jet Li will b acting. Hmmm.. Hez a great actor. Really admire every stunts; moves or actions that he made. However, overall, I'll give this movie 4.5 star!! Itz really nice! You peeps should watch this. For ladies out there, if you're not in action movies, I dun advice you to watch this. Afraid that you'll b bored. Hehehe...
Aniways, after everything is over, me and Adip have no idea where we should go. So, after for a while we've been rounding that Marina Square, we ended at Starbucks. There I had a slice of cheese cake and, ermmnn.. i forgot the drink name. The taste is nice. One of the reason bcoz itz free. Hahaha.. Tanx to Adip for the treat.
There, we had a long chat. Talk bout everything. Everything bout me and also bout Adip. Here, I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to Adip bcoz i turn Adip down. Im soooo sorry. I know how much Adip wants it to work out; but, in the end, I let Adip down. Forgive me. But, what I can say is that, I just can't have more than friendship with Adip. I truly treat Adip as ma closest friend onot, as a bro to me. The reason im treating Adip that way is mayb bcoz, im just not ready to b attached. Or, mayb bcoz im still waiting for this one particular person. Adip knows who the guy is. But, as for ma second reason, im still unsure bout it; bcoz, as day passes by, im losing ma grip. Im so sorry that I dun even give Adip a chance. Im soo sorry to u, Adip. But, i've ask Adip why must he risk his heart, although he already knew whats ma ans is. Adip simply replied that he doesn't wanna b like Yat. He prefer to know the truth rather than waiting for something that he unsure of. So, i've made another cut again.
Adip was the first guy for this year that i've made him broken-hearted. However, im thankfull to him that he really understands and respect ma decision. But, now, i leave everything to him. I dunno whether i'll still b his friend animore. Or i'll b a stranger from his past. I'll leave everything to Adip to decide. Im not gonna stop Adip if he prefer us to b stranger. Bcoz, i understand what he felt.
Sometimes, i do wonder, why izzit im like this. Izzit bcoz im still strongly holding on to something. Im veri worried weneva i have this thoughts. Im worried that me maself ended broken-hearted. I really hate to dissapoint people. I really hate to broke people's heart. But still, i did it. Another cut has been made by me to someone whom is veri close to me. Known Adip for bout to 6 mnths. Knows Adip's past life, character and some secrets.
To Adip: Tanx for giving me d chance to noe who you are. Tanx for giving me d trust. Tanx for sharing with me bout your life. Tanx for being ma good friend. Tanx for always listen to ma probs. Tanx for always giving me advices. Tanx for teaching me alot bout religion history. Tanx for understanding me. Tanx for every cents that you spent on me. Tanx for helping me. Tanx for everything. I can do nothing. I can't even repay for every kindness that you did to me. Not even accepting what you want. Im sorry. But, I dun wanna repeat ma past mistake. And sorry that I dun even take d chance to try out. This is so bcoz, i noe maself that i can't do it. That, nothing will turn out from what you intend to do. So, I dun wanna waste any of your time, I would prefer you to find some other gerls out there whom ca treasure you more that I do. Ma prayers for you is that, you'll get d gerl of your dreams; meaning, someone that can really take care of you, can understand you, can accept of who you are, can love you sincerely and appreciate you for everything that you are made of. Im sorry Adip. I know that mayb you can say that Im being so stubborn or stupid for waiting someone that who doesn't show any interest on me. For your info, I do realise that. But, Im still trying to forget that person. Im still trying to accept new people. Im still trying to giving people a chance. But, till today, Im still like this; stuck with ma own stupidity and stuborness. I still nid tyme for me to b alone and think everything over. I didn't noe that to forget HIM will b these tough. Mayb itz something easy to you. But, not to me. I've give ma heart to d wrong person. And, once ma heart was given, itz not easy for me to get it back. Im just that type of person. Im sorry one again for everything. Wish you all d best in everything you do. You'll still b ma friend....
After everything is over, i met with Jup. Jup is going to a gig that was held at Esplanade. Jup is going with one of his old gurl-fren. Dunno what is up between d two of them. But, i know, that was a date. Jup wanna forget d past. So, happy for him that he can really moves on. Been tryin to help him out. Hope it really works. Just wish that wadeva he is doing, is something good for himself and d people around him. As for Jup, im quite close with him. But, i treat him as ma bro. Not more than that. Used to admire him, but, only his looks. Thats all. Now, im more than happy that we have this sister-brotherhood relationship.
Jup get d chance to mit Adip. Not for long, after d gurl that Jup datin out with arrives, we separated. Actually, i thought of going to Fidah's house. Since i can't attend to her engagement day, I thought of going to her house to at least pay back what i'll miss. But, can't get her through. Before going out from CT Link, met with ma dearest best friend; Jun. Then, from there, I change ma plans, I went out hanging around with her instead. So, I told Adip that i've met ma friend and mayb im going to Fidah's house with Jun. So, Adip went home alone. Im soo sorry. But, hope that Adip understand.
After Adip went back home, I hang around at that area with Jun. Ask Jun to come along with me to Fidah's house; but, she can't make it, as she has to b home early. Hmmmnn... In the meantime, I tried calling Fidah, but, can't get her through till it was bout 9pm. Itz running late, and i have to b home before 10pm. So, in the end, I fetch Jun home and I took bus home.
Just nid to apologise to alot of people. Im so sorry to fidah that unable to attend to her engagement day. To Adip, once again im sorry bcoz i've turn him down. To everyone who knows me and reading this, Im sorry for every wrong doing that I made whether I did it on purpose or not, and whether I realise it or not. Please forgive me!
>><< Im 0uTTa HerE! >><<
